Scout tells jokes

Scout has a few dog jokes she found at Doggies Paradise's website and thought she would share them with you!


A wife says to her husband one weekend morning, "We've got such a clever dog. He brings in the daily newspapers every morning." Her husband replies, "Well, lots of dogs can do that." The wife responded, "But we've never subscribed to any!"

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A burglar is sneaking through this house one night, when out of the darkness comes a voice, "I can see you, and so can Jesus".

The burglar freezes in his tracks and is too frightened to move. After ten minutes, nothing has happened so he moves forward. Again from the darkness comes the voice, "I can see you, and so can Jesus". The burglar is petrified and too frightened to move a muscle.
After thirty minutes, he decides to do something. He backs very slowly and tentatively to the wall and feels around for a light switch. He switches on the light and there in front of him, sit a cockatoo in a cage, who says, "I can see you, and so can Jesus".

Greatly relieved, the burglar sighs, "It's just a cocky". The cocky looks at the burglar and says, "I might be just a cocky but Jesus is a big German Shepherd".

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During break time at obedience school, two dogs were talking.
One said to the other..."The thing I hate about obedience school is you learn ALL this stuff you will never use in the real world."